Check out my poem “Salt Water Sacrifices” in the Rising Phoenix Review.
Salt Water Sacrifices
With each rising crest breaking over my head,
I considered giving myself to the ocean,
considered letting the water swallow me up,
considered filling my lungs with seaweed and
sand instead of these mismatched sentiments
of grief and anger; a sacrifice Poseidon himself
would have been proud of. Because
what is suicide if not a conversation
with forgiveness? Maybe those who stare
into the abyss and are not afraid are just
begging for relief, begging for a power bigger
than themselves to consume them, begging
for the depths of the sea to swallow them.
But each time I found myself contemplating
turning my life over to the water,
I felt my pulse rip through my body as I wondered
if I would make it back up for air,
or if the current would drag me along with it.
With each almost-sacrifice,
I found myself wandering back to what
I’ve always known, asking myself if this
is all I will ever be.